What kind of person are you? Most people, asked to describe themselves, will have a set of beliefs about themselves – hopeless at maths, good at sport, shy, sensitive, ambitious, sociable, tone deaf, arty or whatever. These beliefs are generally based on early experiences and what we were told by parents and teachers or encouraged to believe about ourselves. But are they really true? Studies have shown that the best indicator of whether a child will do well at a certain subject is not any innate ability of the child, but the parents’ view of how well the child will do. It seems that BELIEFS about our strengths and weaknesses may shape them just as much as actual qualities we are born with. Even when we enjoy doing something and feel we do it well, we tend to impose certain limits on ourselves about just how much success is possible for us.
“I can’t increase my running speed now, at this age – I’m past my best”
“I can’t get below (or above) a certain weight – I always stick at a plateau/it’s my age”
“I can see myself earning £50,000, but not £150,000 – people like me don’t make that amount of money.”
“I’m happy enough, life is ok – I mean things are never utterly fantastic, are they?”
“Maybe I could become healthier – but I’m never going to be bursting with vitality, with my history.”
The problem is that these limits tend to be based on past experience, the experiences of those around us, and other beliefs we have about the skill or activity in question. I have found again and again that if I can help a client to expand their view of what is possible for them, and be open to achieving more, their life experiences change to match their expectations. Using EFT frees clients from the hold their past experiences have over them, release emotional baggage, and re-evaluate the beliefs they have about themselves and their abilities.
But don’t just listen to me – Olympic sprinter Abi Oyepitan and Bronze bobsled medalist Aja Evans have both used EFT to improve their performance – as have many other athletes. They know that our mindset is just as important as innate talent in achieving sporting success. This goes for other kinds of success too, as our beliefs and feelings about ourselves and our ability to succeed affect us on every level.
Do you have a dream or a goal? Instead of simply aiming for what you believe is “realistic” – which is likely based on a set of deeply held beliefs – why not let yourself dream of what you like to do if there were no barriers to your success. Then ask yourself what is stopping you. Whether it be your age, gender, childhood experiences, body shape, medical history, background or education, it may be worth doing some tapping on it to dissolve and clear away any obsolete and unhelpful beliefs that may be holding you back needlessly.
As many of my clients have, you may surprise yourself at what is possible for you when you have removed your own personal glass ceiling.